MINDSALAD

190811. moola moola.

I was at Aritzia yesterday, musing at this beautiful, sheer short-sleeved blouse, a perfect addition to my work wanna-be-professional clothing collection. But much to my dismay, reality slapped me in the face as I turned over the price tag, $85+tax. Pretty much $100. But it was just a blouse. Seriously, did I miss something? Apparently, money grows on trees nowadays.

As I came back down to earth, I turned, and at the corner of my eye, caught a glimpse of a 12 year-old, at the fitting room, trying on that very same glorious piece of clothing. You could see it in her eyes, that beam of confidence, the glimmer of pride. Her, also 12 year-old, friend whispered something in her ear and they giggled as they continued to admire themselves in the glowing mirror, flipping their blonde hair in the non-existent wind. I imagined them in their little pubescent bodies saying something like, “Ohhh, you want this Michelle? Well, you can’t have it. My new iPhone app tells me its the new hot trend. And mommy tells me I haven’t maxed out my credit cards this month yet.”

Well, no. No I can’t afford it. haha. As much as I’m like, “Whoopty-doo, finally made it to med school after these bajillion years”, I’m pretty much on welfare. The reality of things is, I will have no inflow of cash until at least residency 4 years from now. And even then, that income will not be substantial. The illusionary abundance of money that people perceive physicians to have, doesn’t come until about a decade after the beginning of school. So for now, yes, I have a huge line of credit available to me. But it’s one that I must pay interest immediately on. AKA, it’s just a massive pile of potential debt. Me right now? Zero money.

It’s kind of funny. My family jokes about how by the time I get out, I should buy them cars, etc. And I would gladly do so. I owe them that much after all the things they’ve done for me. But when you think about the fact that my parents will be in their 70s and my siblings will be in their late 30s when I get out of med school, you realize they likely would have everything they need by then. Married, established home-owners, with kids, 2 dogs and the whole white-picket fence already. Then finally, when I am sufficiently sleep-deprived, malnourished, and physically aged with crowsfeet and a slightly balding patch of hair, I will be rolling in the cash. Yay! Forever dependent.